Showing posts with label #crapusa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #crapusa. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Boobs in High Places


                                
 But not before I get really High.The above picture was taken recently  on top of NY's Empire State Building. It was snapped by a smart phone very similar to pictures you and I would think nothing of taking. Naturally we would be careful of young kids about. Problem here is relatively simple. The owners of the ESB are suing Allen Henson (Boobs around town project........I'm not the only one) for 1.1 million dollars.  The lawyers for the Empire State Building are claiming this ruins the family friendly views.......Shit....I gotta believe this can only enhance those family friendly views.....Oh well.
      

 Let's face it. Boobs are everywhere. Boobs are in politics, sports, education, retailing, restaurants, transportation, etc.  You get the idea.  Boobs are not only what you are thinking of right now. Boobs go deeper and are much more sophisticated today. Tell me that you haven't been in your car this past day or two and see something that prompted you to say "What a fucking Boob" ?????
      

Watch or play some volleyball, tennis or any other sport.
      Does Beer Pong Count ?  You be the judge.
    


And the very last and very best Boob in High Places goes to Costco.  Where else can you wait on line to get into the store, wait on line to check out, and then wait on line to get out with your overloaded shopping cart.  Besides, those super size everything that is sold there makes me crazy. I guess living alone is no reason to shop there.  I buy crap that I don't need, or crap that will spoil prior to me finishing it.  However, I am convinced that I am saving money...I almost bought a box of condoms there recently, but figured out that it would be impossible to have that much sex prior to my dying.  Wish I had been smart enough to have thought of a warehouse club ?????

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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Biggest Boobs of 2013

Biggest Boobs of 2013

2013 has been one hell of a year. More crap came out of the mouth of more people that you would ever believe.  You can look at your favorite athlete, your favorite movie star, your favorite politician, or in fact, your favorite anything.
    
It is so obvious, that I don't even have to tell you what these genius's said, because most of it is so fucking stupid and inconceivable that anyone could really be that stupid.  Oh, BTW.....they can.
    
Do I read CRaPUSA ?
ARod is a front runner.   It really doesn't even matter what he said or says.
  
Joe Biden is my favorite. Always was and always will be. His best was a while ago at some rally when Joe Biden said to Missouri Senator Chuck Graham......."Stand Up, Chuck. Let 'em see ya".   The only problem with this is that Chuck Graham was in a wheelchair at the time....
      
Donald Rumsfeld is also pretty high up on the list with this gem.  "We know there are known knowns: there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns: that is to say we know there are things we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns...the ones we don't know we don't know "    All I can say to this is simply that " I knew that ".
    Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman"   Huh.....Are all these fucking people stupid, or do you and I have one hell of a sense of humor ?
    
I have looked over some of my blogs from earlier in the year and have to admit that I have been pretty good keeping up with some of these Boobs of the year.  For a brief second, I wonder how we will outdo these "schmuck's" next year ?  But alas......I know there will not be a problem in the world to do this.
     
This final one even made me take a second look.  Yup...It's the biggest political Boob of 2013 and it's called Obamacare.  








Sunday, December 8, 2013

Funny, Stupid, and Banned Commercials 2013


                 
We are all forced to watch commercials at some time or another. I don't ever watch anything live on TV, but record everything so as not to have to watch horrible commercials that are meant for 6 year old idiot's with an IQ of 23.   OK, so I do watch every now and then. If I didn't, I would have nothing to complain about.
   
#CRaPUSA
Of course, every so often I am amused about how clever some of these commercials or ads can be. Take a peek at the video above, while having a slice of bread (also above) and enjoy.....But beware..........because this is only a little tease as I get ready to rant about commercials 2013.....So keep tuned.

                                      #CRaPUSA


http://www.zazzle.com/crapusa   


CRaP Cup Coffee Mugs
CRaP Cup Coffee Mugs by CRaPUSA
Check out Coffee Mugs online at zazzle

Monday, December 2, 2013

Did You Survive ?

CRaPUSA
Did you survive ?  Did you make it through Black Friday ?  Do you even give a shit about Black Friday ?  Are you Black and resent it being called Black Friday ?  Do you really believe the above is me dressed in my Black Friday costume ?  Do you even know what the Term "Black Friday" actually means, and why and how it started ?
      
CRaPUSA
OK. I have to admit several things before I begin to get serious. I was in LA this past week visiting family, having family problems, fighting with family, and really wondering why anyone in their right fucking mind would even consider getting married ?  Thanksgiving came and went and I am 5 pounds heavier because of that fucking dumb Turkey holiday.
  
crapusa.com
But what is important, however, is that Friday immediately following that fucking Turkey holiday.  Yup, Black Fucking Friday.  A day dedicated to all the assholes in the world who managed to get up at the crack of dawn to go shopping and get what they think are terrific bargains.  Lets face it !!!!!!!!!! Anyone with at least a portion of their brain still functioning must realize there is no such thing as a bargain.  Those Giant Stores  that have spent millions these past few weeks advertising for this Big, Big, Big, Big, Day certainly know how many brain dead people are going to believe them and show up to their store.  Those smarter individuals among us realize that retailers are in business to make money and not to lose money on anything they sell.  (Unless of course it is not selling over the counter and they need to sell it at any price to get rid of it ).  But alas, there will be no history of retailing course given today.
      
#crapusa
One of the two pictures above was taken in Walmart on Black Friday.  Surely by now you have seen or heard of the riots and injuries associated with that at your local Walmart. The other picture was taken on White Saturday at another store or mall... Where would you rather be ?
     
Xmas2013
All this Black Friday and White Saturday actually means is that these next 23 days will be filled with anxious shoppers going out and buying shit for others that they would never buy for themselves.....
     Lets face it.....Tis the Season.......So I say.......Enjoy and forget the shopping and do something good for you.
  
#crapusa
BTW....this is what I want.

#crapusa





Friday, November 8, 2013

Really ?


crapusa.
Even if I tried with all my heart and soul, I couldn't make this shit up. There are many deodorants for men and women, but this is obviously the first one that smells like Bacon.
It was dreamed up by Seattle-based J&D's Food, the company behind bacon-flavored salt and baconnaise, and officially called Power Bacon Deodorant. It is the "world's first Bacon-scented deodorant."
I have done some research on this and guess what ?
1. It's tag line is, "For When You Sweat Like A Pig."
2. It is a "meaty fresh evolution of meat flavored and scented health and beauty products."
3. It "provides 24 hours of Bacon Scent."
4. You should "apply liberally to underarms or private areas."
And if you would like your penis to smell like bacon, you can buy a stick for $9.99 at their website.

crapusa
Now, where the fuck do I find a babe that uses and\ egg deodorant ?    Really ?
      
I am so glad we are in the middle of the Football Season.  Actually, I can't wait until early 2014 for the opening of the LFL.  Really now.....you act surprised ? Your going to tell me that you don't know what the Legends Football League is ?  OK, so they changed the name from Lingerie Football.........
CRaPUSA.com
    
I don't know about you or what your thinking, but I do know there is something to be said about this. Actually, I see absolutely no downside in suddenly becoming  a fan of this league. I also know plenty about football, so right out of the box I will predict the team with the largest average size tits will win the championship.....Really ????
      

Here is something that even I don't believe. I use one of those one price cleaners in the neighborhood for some shirts and stuff that can't go in the washing machine.  I have been going to this place for some time now.  They don't do anything on the premises, but send it all out.  They have those moving racks to hang everything, and there is one or two nice Asian women in the front all the time.  I get greeted with a big hello, give her my shirts and ticket to pick up the stuff from last week. Right....Pretty simple and basic.  They know me and I know them and we exchange small talk and everything is wonderful.........Except for the following.  For some reason, the cost usually always ends in a 26 cent, or a 51 or 56 cent....You get the drift.
     
There is this little penny bowl by the cash register for those times when I need a penny.  ( I am sure they use this for other customers as well).  This morning, I picked up some shirts, and needed just one silly little penny.  And lo and behold.......the fucking penny bowl was empty....I picked it up as I gave her money to show her it was empty and guess what ????? She gave me 4 pennies with the balance of my change.......I looked at her and said....."Really".  This little Asian girl had no fucking clue as to what I was talking about.......Really...
     
#crapusa

Thank God for Reality ....Now follow me on Twitter. 


                                                #crapusa


Thursday, September 26, 2013

The Friendly Skies


Fly the friendly skies ?  How many times have we heard that ?  How often have we hear those fucking ridiculous ads about how much fun flying is ? and How you are going to enjoy your trip on So and So Airlines ?  Right on Dude....It's bullshit....It's an impossibility.
    
I used to fly constantly and it was pretty wonderful. People got dressed fairly decent, the food was pretty good, the flights were never completely booked, luggage usually got where it was supposed to go, and flight attendants were wonderful, blah blah blah....
    
Say it isn't true ?   Of course it is....Traveling completely sucks these days...Everything about it sucks. Getting to the airport sucks. Going through security sucks. Walking 2 miles to the fucking gate sucks. Waiting in the crowded boarding area sucks. Waiting for them to call out your boarding seat sucks. Fighting your way on the aircraft sucks. Finding a bin to put all the shit you should never have brought in the first place sucks. Getting into you seat that was meant for a midget sucks. And last.....But not least......Before even taking off........Is that last minute fat fucking person that is heading right toward you and is now about to sit right next to you.
    
Why is this allowed ? Why can't these people buy 2 seats like they are supposed to rather than sit their fat ass next to you with half their body hanging over you ?  I certainly don't have an answer for that, but certainly know that it pisses me off whenever it happens.
   
It also pisses me off when that person is sneezing and coughing like a SOB and has no regard whatsoever for you or anyone else sitting next to them. Or stinks from cigarettes.
    
And of course let us not forget those fucking inconsiderate bastards that find it necessary to carry on 2 pieces of luggage, a back pack, a shopping bag, a coat or some other garment, and of course a lunch consisting of Kentucky fried chicken that is going to smell like shit the entire trip ? Why do they have to stand over you while beating the shit out of their luggage trying to force it into those overhead bins ?
    
Why, Why, Why ????? And these same assholes are going to open the bin during the flight to take something out and do nothing but cause more confusion...And if your lucky enough to be sitting under that bin, you will be looking up the entire time hoping and praying that his or her bag won't fall on your head.
    
I bet your thinking how negative I am about air travel.  Nonsense...I love it and do a little traveling myself these days...I try not to think about everything I have mentioned above. I never travel with carry-on and only check one bag..I carry a small fag bag on board and that is it. I try not to talk to anyone, because I hate all travelers equally and would not want to upset the apple cart.
     

I simply look at things somewhat different and in my mind completely believe it is all happening.
    
After all................Which part of air travel would you prefer ? Mine or theirs ?  Besides....Have you looked at your flight attendants recently ?????     I rest my case......Happy Trails to You