The Friendly Skies

Fly the friendly skies ?  How many times have we heard that ?  How often have we hear those fucking ridiculous ads about how much fun flying is ? and How you are going to enjoy your trip on So and So Airlines ?  Right on Dude....It's bullshit....It's an impossibility.
    

I used to fly constantly and it was pretty wonderful. People got dressed fairly decent, the food was pretty good, the flights were never completely booked, luggage usually got where it was supposed to go, and flight attendants were wonderful, blah blah blah....
    

Say it isn't true ?   Of course it is....Traveling completely sucks these days...Everything about it sucks. Getting to the airport sucks. Going through security sucks. Walking 2 miles to the fucking gate sucks. Waiting in the crowded boarding area sucks. Waiting for them to call out your boarding seat sucks. Fighting your way on the aircraft sucks. Finding a bin to put all the shit you should never have brought in the first place sucks. Getting into you seat that was meant for a midget sucks. And last.....But not least......Before even taking off........Is that last minute fat fucking person that is heading right toward you and is now about to sit right next to you.
    

Why is this allowed ? Why can't these people buy 2 seats like they are supposed to rather than sit their fat ass next to you with half their body hanging over you ?  I certainly don't have an answer for that, but certainly know that it pisses me off whenever it happens.
   

It also pisses me off when that person is sneezing and coughing like a SOB and has no regard whatsoever for you or anyone else sitting next to them. Or stinks from cigarettes.
    

And of course let us not forget those fucking inconsiderate bastards that find it necessary to carry on 2 pieces of luggage, a back pack, a shopping bag, a coat or some other garment, and of course a lunch consisting of Kentucky fried chicken that is going to smell like shit the entire trip ? Why do they have to stand over you while beating the shit out of their luggage trying to force it into those overhead bins ?
    

Why, Why, Why ????? And these same assholes are going to open the bin during the flight to take something out and do nothing but cause more confusion...And if your lucky enough to be sitting under that bin, you will be looking up the entire time hoping and praying that his or her bag won't fall on your head.
    

I bet your thinking how negative I am about air travel.  Nonsense...I love it and do a little traveling myself these days...I try not to think about everything I have mentioned above. I never travel with carry-on and only check one bag..I carry a small fag bag on board and that is it. I try not to talk to anyone, because I hate all travelers equally and would not want to upset the apple cart.
     

I simply look at things somewhat different and in my mind completely believe it is all happening.
    

After all................Which part of air travel would you prefer ? Mine or theirs ?  Besides....Have you looked at your flight attendants recently ?????     I rest my case......Happy Trails to You
   

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Pay to Pee @ 30.000 feet

     WTF is going on with these airlines today???? It's one thing to have lousy service , late departures, dirty planes,  high fares, ridiculously old female flight attendants, annoying gay flight attendants, long delays, late arrivals, old smelly planes, cramped seats, no legroom, no pillows, no peanuts, and probably a dozen other stupid faults that I can't think of right now.
     The airlines have been charging for the following and I won't even mention names, as the prices are all pretty standard.  Snacks are $3/4.00 each, Checked bags about $25.00, exit seats about $10.00 and up, blankets about $10.00 .  It is also more expensive to purchase a ticket at the airport , rather than on-line.  There are also charges if you don't print your boarding pass in advance.
      The revenue from checked baggage alone is roughly 2 billion dollars for the last 9 months.  That is an amazing figure for something that used to be free.
     Now for the latest bull shit to come from the airlines. Starting Aug 1st., Spirit Airlines (a discount airline but aren't they all? ) will be charging $30.00 for each piece of carry on baggage.  In other words anything that will not fit under your seat will cost you that.............Management claims it will speed the boarding process and thus cut back on costs for the airline so they will be able to charge lower fares.  Don't hold your breath for that.
     I really thought that was the end of this little fairytale.  Nope, Nope, Nope.......Ryanair Airlines ( a real European discount carrier ) has confirmed this week it will start charging $1.35 for using the lavatory.  Is there no limit to air-line gouging?????? If I were on a Ryanair flight I would do one of two things.  Either organize a massive pee-in-the-aisle session, or use the lavatory and clog up the toilet with paper to make sure it completely flooded the stupid little excuse they call a Lavatory.
      I also know what is next for the airlines.  There will be fees charged for the following, although the exact charges have not been decided as yet..............Sitting outside the gate waiting to board , walking down the jetway, talking on your cell phone on the plane, getting out of your seat to stretch your legs, not dressing up to code, asking the flight attendant a question, picking your luggage up from the baggage claim, I can't even think what the cost will be for joining the mile high club????