Leave Me Alone

Please leave me alone. Please let me do my own shopping. Please don't run up to me every 15 seconds and ask me if I have found everything I am looking for .  OK, let me explain. I am a great shopper.  I usually know what I want upon entering a store and refuse to spend lots of time in one.
    

Being as I used to do business with many retailers, I know store layouts and can probably tell you where everything is blindfolded.  When I am in stores like Bed Bath and Beyond, it's only for a few things and I refuse to ever take a shopping cart. In fact, I basically won't use a shopping cart anywhere.  I love those little faggy baskets and especially love just using those 2 hands that I was fortunately given at birth.

I want to walk through the aisles and get what I need as fast as humanly possible and then get out of that store.  I don't want help from anyone......after all.....I have a mouth also and if I required someones help, I would certainly ask for it.
  

This is so not possible at Bed Bath and Beyond.  They have nice salespeople there, and I am sure they are doing their job as they were taught...........BUT.......Why do they feel compelled to practice on me ?  Why with every 10 feet I take,  must someone ask me if I am finding everything I am looking for ?  What do they think ?  Am I General Custer at Little Big Horn ?  Do they really give a shit if I found it or not ?  Or am I getting so old they are worried that I won't make it to the checkout line ?

Wait....I have walked another 5 feet and am approached by another salesperson asking me if I needed a shopping cart ?  No...I don't need, nor do I want one of your stupid fucking shopping carts.  Next time, I am going to ask them to please relay my message to every other sales person there who is about to ask me one of the two questions above.
         However...............and I do mean However....

If your salespeople looked like this, Not only would I buy more things, I would use a couple of shopping carts, and of course would spend a hell of a lot more time in your store shopping....Just Saying.

Un-Supermarkets

Most of us go to one. Most of us have one or two right in their local area. I am sure that if you are like me, the one near you is part of some gigantic local chain that has a branch almost everywhere you spend most of your time.  I know that I am at my local supermarket at least 3-4 times per week and that each and every time is a new and unique experience.  Here in South Florida we have Publix which has about 1000 stores.  It seems like they are all located every 3 blocks in my area.

     For the most part, they are nice upscale stores that are competitively priced and very clean. OK, so you really think I am going to continue talking about the good things ? Hell No.......... Let's get down to serious business starting from getting out of my car and trying to avoid a runaway shopping cart that is heading towards me.  I'm sure I am not the only one plagued by the selfish son of a bitches that are too lazy to return the cart, but feel compelled to leave them wherever the fuck they feel like. These are the same people that never get their car dented, but manage to do it to someone else's.

       So here I am entering the store and getting a nice clean shopping cart.  Ha, ha, ha.  There is no way they are clean, and almost always there is some paper, tissue, candy wrapper, or some other useless shit in the cart.  I have now taken a clean wipe that is conveniently located by the carts and have cleaned my cart to avoid germs or the plague.  ( Do you remember when the stores cleaned these ? )
     Now comes the really good part. Deciding which aisle to go down first.  I usually pick the produce and fresh deli and bakery aisle which is usually at one end in all these stores.  They used to have a nice bakery department with freshly baked breads, cakes, and everything.  In fact, they had live people working behind the counter then.....NOPE.....no more......everything is lying on tables in those stupid plastic molded containers.  It not only looks like shit, but no longer is that wonderful bakery smell present.........Now to look at some nice fruit and veggies in the produce section.  Oh, guess what ???? most of the fruit and vegetables are pre-packaged in cellophane .  No longer are they lying loose for me to choose what I want.  Actually, I am not telling the entire truth.  The Tomatoes and a few other things are still loose. .......Now to the Deli department where you can buy all the unhealthy processed meats and cheese you want.  This is still behind glass and a happy employee will gladly slice whatever you want and give you a sample as well.....But.....I repeat.....But......where are the fresh salads, the freshly made tuna and other salads , the specialty dishes, the chopped liver, the cucumber salad, the rice puddings, and all those other good things ????? They are not there. Gone.... They are now in some case across from the counter in plastic containers all pre-packaged.  OMG, we are living in a world of Lazy.....Everything seems to be done for us to make our lives easier..... I hate it.  I want real people. I want a live person giving me the salads or whatever I want fresh. I also know this is never going to happen again, at least not in a supermarket.

     So it is just busy, busy, busy, trying to manipulate my shopping cart around slow, lazy, inconsiderate, fat, sloppy, ugly, noisy, people also trying to shop.
      My dreams of running into shoppers like pictured below seem to be fading away, and my only salvation seems to be going back to the local gourmet market that is completely wonderful, but costs about twice as much......What is a guy to do ????