Breakfast with Animals

 I have to tell you that breakfast is my favorite meal, as I am sure it is to lots of you.  Breakfast is simple to prepare at home, and even simpler to order out...I am not a big eater, especially since I have been on this great diet for the past several months.  I have managed to lose almost 25 pounds already, so that can be one of the reasons.
    

Food is just food for me these days..My diet (for breakfast) consist of a glass of tomato juice, a couple of eggs made almost anyway I want, a couple of pieces of bacon, and all the coffee I so desire. Did I mention any type of omelet is allowed as well ?  I am really happy with this and it keeps me going almost all day.  I don't even miss that wonderful toasted everything bagel with tons of cream cheese piled on it that I used to have.
     

I usually have this breakfast at home, read the paper, clean up the house and then head out to the gym.. I fairly boring morning, but somehow it works for me.  To break up the boredom, I sometimes don't eat breakfast and go right to the gym...Then I go to one of the local coffee joints, breakfast place, crappy restaurant, or whatever you want to call it.  I usually just seem to say that it is my local greasy spoon.
   

It's a really good place and the food is always consistent and prepared perfectly.  They have a nice size counter and if I am alone I opt to sit there.  Well, yesterday , while indulging in a wonderful Western Omelet, I happen to have glanced to my left as I heard this funny chopping sound..There was this fairly fat guy sitting there and completely mutilating his eggs and potatoes.  He was chopping, banging, and cutting away at these poor little defenseless eggs..It was a complete massacre and I couldn't take my eyes off him. (actually I was looking through the corner of my eyes).  Then I looked down the other end of the counter and it seemed like his big sister was there doing the same thing.
   

     I am not sure what I am thinking now, or what I was thinking then, but I did realize something. Some people are fucking animals.
 

At least if they are going to be animals, and kill their food, and then mutilate it....................Please, I say please.........Make sure they look like these lovely ladies above........Think about this the next time you see some fucking animal eating next to you at a restaurant....

Burnt Out Star by CRaPUSA Embroidered Hat by CRaPUSA
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Eggs ?

Eggs......or Cracked Eggs......I am getting pissed off at eggs, but will fill you in later........too tired tonight.
    In the meantime you can go to facebook.com/crapusa   and click the like button.  That would be nice ?

Supermarket Shopping Slobs (This is a Summer Re-run from The Worst of Crap.

I went food shopping at Publix earlier and noticed something I have seen lots of times but never saw fit to write about.  I am also sure that each and every one of you have experienced the same thing at one time or another.  Yup, it's that ugly older man or woman that has to touch everything they buy.  They have to open up a carton of eggs and look at each and every egg in the carton, and usually go through 3 or 4 eggs cartons before they are either satisfied with those 12 little bitty eggs, or have developed a true friendship with them in the time they spent putting their disgusting, dirty, smelly, ugly hands on each and every egg.  How many of us have purchased that carton they put back and had no knowledge of it ?  It really sucks that egg cartons do not have electronic tazers built in to protect the eggs from such abuse.  I however do not keep quiet when I see this happening.  I will confront that person and really give them some shit.  Sort of like yelling at a driver when you get cut off.  It certainly does make you feel better.
     But that is not the end of it.  Follow this same person to the produce section and you with see the same thing.  They will examine every tomato or piece of fruit like they were going to adopt it.  They will hold it, squeeze it, smell it, and whatever, again with those disgusting, dirty, smelly, ugly hands. If I owned a supermarket, I would have snipers with tazer guns stationed in that department.  What fun it would be zapping these people.
     I certainly realize there is a bit of touching that needs to be done.  I also realize there are exceptions to every rule and some of these people are just that.  Recently I caught a women eating blueberry's from the container and then putting it back on the shelf.  Boy did I have fun telling her where to go.  Where are the Produce Police when you need them ???
     I guess it goes deeper than that.  It has to do with consideration to others.  I guess it is really a lost art.  I guess I will have to be careful when I go shopping and open a box of cookies to eat while I do my shopping.  What makes what I do different is the fact that I don't put it back, but politely finish the cookies and then throw the box away.  I mean the stores should provide some light snacks while I am shopping.  Free samples are wonderful.