Go Fork Yourself

CRaPUSA

And the "Forks" are ! Lets face it, they just won't go away. They stay there like a bad dream. They will not vacate. .  It's like they have found a new home and refuse to leave.  What am I talking about you ask ?
   

Easy. I am talking about a simple utensil called a Fork.  This is something that probably pisses me off as much or more than anything.  OK.....your in a restaurant..(not necessarily a real fancy one).  You have just finished an appetizer or a salad and lo and behold here comes the waiter or the busboy to promptly remove your plate.  Wonderful ! That is the right thing to do, and if your like me, you smile at him or her and watch them take the plate away.........BUT.......WAIT........
    

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Why have they just removed my fork from the plate, and put it neatly back on the table
near the rest of my silverware ?  What the fuck is with that ?  Is there a shortage of forks ?  Is the dishwasher allergic to forks ?  Is the waiter trying to cut down on what they are taking into the kitchen ?  Are they looking to save a few steps that it would take to bring you a nice , clean, shinny, new fork ?   Whatever the reason, I just don't understand it.
   

I don't get it and it really pisses me off.  It doesn't happen all the time, but when it does, I go ballistic.  I want to scream and take the fucking fork and stick it in the waiters arm. Does that make me a bad person ?  Why does this happen ?  Sometimes I think it only happens to me ?
    

And my other question is this...Why only a fork ?  Why don't they put back the knife, or spoon, or whatever ?  They will bring you a clean spoon for your coffee. So why do they insist of making me keep my fork ?  Someone , please give me a reasonable explanation for this nonsense.

Trained

 We have lost. We have completely lost our identity as people. We are merely a bunch of fucking clowns that are expected to do the work of trained monkeys.  We no longer have a thing to say about fast foods, other than to clean up after ourselves before we leave.

I don't know about you, but I am not a big fan of fast foods.  I don't like going to one, I don't like eating in one, and I don't really like anything about them. That is not to say I haven't been there, or don't go to some on occasions.  I will have coffee in Dunkin Donuts and maybe that is where I draw the line.

For the most part, I completely hate the fact of trying to find a table that is clean. I know that some of the fast food stores are clean, and some are a real pleasure to go in. Naturally, I am not talking about these, but am referring to the ones that are dirty, smelly, and have people behind the counter that have never heard of the English language.
     This morning I went into a nice , clean Dunkin Donuts near my gym for some coffee and a bagel. It was clean and there was only one person in front of me. Right...No Problem......Wrong......This nice young man from some country that I never heard of, that spoke almost NO English, asked me what I would like. I simply said a plain toasted bagel with cream cheese, and a medium coffee with a little milk and sweet and low......In my mind this was a no brainer and I thought a one, two , three thing..............No Fucking Way......Three different time this asshole asked me what kind of bagel I wanted and what I wanted on it. Three different times I told him the same thing.  He then looked at the sign above him and then turned to me and asked me what I wanted.  Finally, someone else came out and took my order and sent this guy to the back.....One would think they would train the staff prior to taking an order..

That wasn't even a big deal.  That also goes to show you that I must have really been in a good mood this morning.  What piss's the hell out of me is the fact that we are expected to find a table and clean it before we sit down....It is rare that a table is clean.

But that is not even the half of it.  We.....(You and Me) are expected to take our trays and neatly put them on top of the stupid trash bin, after we have neatly tossed our trash in the bin....We are also expected to clean off the table before we leave...There are signs all around for us to do this....
       There is also one other minor, little, insignificant, tiny, misc. thing that I have omitted.  That little tip jar next to the register.  Do they really expect me to leave a tip when I am really doing all the work ?  Am I supposed to tip someone for punching a few things in the computer and then having to pick this up somewhere else ?   Well, Fuck You Mr or Mrs Fast Food Person........
       The next time you get a tip from me will be when I get to sit at a clean table, and you clean up after I am finished. Until then...............................................well, you get the picture.
      
      
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"Nice"

Every now and then, something good or something nice comes around. Tonight I am going to do something so unlike me and that is to say something nice about something or someone. I am getting nervous simply thinking about doing this, but what the fuck. Why Not ? Still debating, but WTF, here goes.

I have spent these past two years probably bitching and complaining about things that some people don't even know piss's them off. Never the less, I have attacked some of the biggest companies in America, Most Utility companies, the Banking industry, The Food Industry, Our Education System, Oh, who am I kidding ???????? Almost everything....But lets face it.  Most of these assholes deserved it. In fact, my last post was about how fucked up travel can be on dear old American Airlines. And you wonder where cynical, ridiculous and pathetic come from ?
      Guess your also wondering why the Lone Ranger is standing above and looking so tall ?  Here is the part you are going to find so hard to believe.  He reminds me of a real good guy, who has become a good friend, who works for a fairly large restaurant chain.... I think I will omit his (or her) name, strictly to protect this person, however, he is a role model that lots of people in the restaurant business should surely follow.

Saint "M" hard at work.

     
     Let me go back to the first time I met "M". (as I will refer to him/her as ).  I was sitting at the bar at Buca di Beppo when this nice regional manager just stopped by to say hello.  We began a simple conversation, and have been friends ever since.  He was only by the location where I was by accident and I really have only seen him a few times in these last few years. He is, however, a Saint among Men.  We  email each other and seem to stay in  touch by that means. I guess most of us communicate like that ?
     A year ago I had a slight problem in that same restaurant while there with several people. I made him aware of the situation and he immediately resolved it.  What more can you ask for ? Right.....someone that actually does do their job.....

He is just a pleasant and qualified person for his job. Isn't that refreshing to see every now and then.  Several months ago he was promoted to his corporate office which entails a great deal more responsibility. I have no fucking clue what that means, but it's always a good thing winding up in corporate with much more responsibility.  I have also traveled my entire life and have eaten in enough restaurants to know what is good and what is shit.

Buca is one of those places that is just wonderful. The food is plentiful, the decor is fun busy Italian, the price is fair, it is kid friendly, great for large parties, sometimes noisy, fun for birthdays or parties, etc.......and no.....the picture above was not taken there. Nor will I make one cent for actually saying something nice about Buca di beppo.

Anyway, now that I have totally screwed this thing up and forgot to tell the best story of all. I was in LA last week visiting my daughter's family and they suggested going to Buca on Friday with some friends of theirs.  My Lil Granddaughter happens to love the place as well, and they are there all the time.  Well, I figured I would email my buddy in New England and see if he would make a reservation for me ? (Also thought I would score some points with the family). Well, "M" emailed me back, told me who to ask for, and did we get the royal treatment......It was really great, but I would be lying to you if I didn't say that every customer get treated royally there.

Anyway...........it was a most wonderful meal........AS USUAL......and this really felt good telling the truth and not even exaggerating a little bit.   So, thank you "Mr. M" and keep doing whatever it is you do to help keep the chain a well oiled machine.........(I am talking about olive oil of course.)

Inside of a typical Buca restaurant

       
       

This is a link to Buca web site...........http://www.bucadibeppo.com/  

        
       
       

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Silverware and Dishes

I had breakfast with an old friend of mine this morning at a local greasy spoon that is always wonderful.  It is only open til 2pm daily and serves breakfast and lunch with half the restaurant being a pretty big counter.  Oh, it looks nothing at all like this picture above, but what the fuck.....Thought I would get you into the right mood.

      
I am sure that most of you have a place similar to mine that you like to go to every now and then ? The food is great , the portions large, and the prices are pretty reasonable. And most important the coffee is spectacular.  In fact, breakfast at Debra's (the name) is probably the same price as a special double Kim Kardashian coffee at Starbucks (or something like that).....OK, so I am one of the 7 people in the USA that not only hates Starbucks, but can't stand the smell of it either....... Oh, and this was not our waiter this morning either.

          What got me started this morning is while sipping on a nice cup of coffee and talking to an old friend who I hadn't seen in a while..........I  opened my napkin and glanced at the silverware. OMG, it was so fucking disgusting I wanted to scream.  I called over the waitress who I know and she simply looked at it, shrugged her shoulders and went to get me some clean silverware. Now we all know that some dishes or silverware will retain some junk on it, but that is still no excuse. One would think someone would look at it prior to putting it on the table....Well, one would be wrong.  It doesn't bother me that a piece of silverware was dirty...What bothers me is if in fact, the other silverware is really clean ?  I am such a clean freak that I get so grossed out at shit like this.

         We all know the answer to this. We all turn another cheek to that fact as well.  Yes, maybe it doesn't happen that much in 5 star restaurants, but it sure as hell does in your neighborhood breakfast or lunch place.  I can see the dishwasher from where I was sitting this morning.  He is a nice enough kid doing a job, probably with sub standard cleaning equipment, and probably not being sterilized by enough heat or hot water to really do a superior job....Being on his cell phone and texting probably doesn't help...... But WTF, it's just a local place and this is certainly not the first time this has happened.  Yet every single day there are lines outside the door waiting to get in and eat off the dirty silverware.

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Always a Line

I don't know what has come over me this past week, but I am finding it difficult to get pissed at anything and I have not really gotten annoyed at much.  Sure I will still yell out my car window at the idiot Florida drivers, and will continue to ram my shopping cart at the dumb ass people that insist on talking and leaving their carts in the middle of a supermarket, and I will bitch to myself when a waiter doesn't pay attention when your ordering, but does manage to come by the table every 8 seconds after they bring the food to ask you if everything is OK ? Whew, but otherwise I am just as relaxed as a volcano waiting to explode.
      I am even planning a trip to LA to see family and that is always great for several reasons.  First and foremost, I get to see the people I love most in life, and second I get to eat at the Pantry.  Ah, now for some fun facts, and some information about probably the best breakfast place in the USA.

     I have been going to the Pantry forever.  As a kid traveling to LA for my first job, when I lived in LA for a while, When I had my business and traveled to the west coast and so on.  Now I get to eat there when I visit the DMK clan.  What makes the Pantry so great ????
    That is really a good question and I will try to answer that, even if it sounds a little lame.  The food is just great and the portions are really plentiful.  Told you it was lame..... Here is the real scoop.  The Pantry is on 8th and Figueroa in downtown Los Angeles. It was opened in 1924, has never been closed, and is said it has never been without a customer., There is only a seating capacity of 84 which includes counter space. No matter what time you arrive in the morning,  you can expect to stand outside on a fast moving line that sometimes seems endless.  The furnishings there have not been changed for decades, and some of the staff the same, as I will soon explain.  It looks like it is right out of the 30's with waiters wearing white aprons and lots of yelling going on. Food is plopped down with the portions almost falling off the plates.  There is a small caged in cashier when leaving that you probably have never seen before.  I can picture Al Capone and his crew eating there.  It is really like the past in a modern day city.
      I am going to give you some real facts now, out of their little brochure. 2 employees have been there 40 to 55 years.  Twelve have been there 20 to 40 years. Twenty-four have been there 5 to 20 years.  These 38 employees have completed a total of 755 years working at the Pantry...
     I love their sourdough french bread and am amazed that 58 tons are served yearly. 3,000 hogs are required to supply the pork used at the Pantry annually.........2,400 eggs are used ever 24 hours.....Yes, that is every 24 hours. Over the course of a year (1 year), the Pantry will use the following.....50 tons of vegetables, 16 tons of fruit, 15 tons of sugar, 364 tons of potatoes, 188 tons of ice,  20 head of cattle are needed to supply the daily servings of steak.....Yup....daily.  There is lots more, but you get the idea and now realize what a great, cool place this is.......And if you do go there, be prepared to have cash as they do not take credit cards...........But the prices are really good..........

      Did I mention the Pantry is also opened for lunch and dinner, but I guess never closing you can have anything at anytime.  Shit I really am getting hungry now and miss the kids more.  So if your ever in LA, and those living there that have not yet been there....................get your ass down there for a great meal.  Ask yourself this........When was the last time you went to a restaurant that doesn't have a lock on the door ???????  Only if you have been in the Pantry ... Take my word on this place. And that my friends is NO CRaP.

Unions Suck aka RIP Tavern on the Green

I have always had a hatred for Unions.  I detested them as a kid, I grew to dislike them more during my first job, and the supreme hatred really began as I started my own neckwear company.  I was very content making my merchandise at a local contractor in NY for several years, until the neckwear union started their crap and recruiting of my employees.  Because of my complete negative feelings and knowledge of how my employees would have less with the union, we all decided to fight it. Well, it was literally a fight and we will save that story for another day.  Rather than submit to the lies, nonsense, bad policies, and everything else connected to this fairly strong union at the time, I moved my entire production to Italy.  We did however have another incident with the union at our distribution center in LIC a year later.  Fortunately for me, my employees with the help of several baseball bats convinced the union reps their presence was not welcome.  That was a scene right out of Bronx Tale, but that was our last visit or call from this union. (that is now gone).

     I really didn't want to get into my hatred of unions, but an article in the NY Post this morning set my wheels in motion.

The Tavern on the Green will not be re-opened as we once knew it.  At least not in the foreseeable future.  Tavern on the Green  as we all loved and was a true NY landmark will go by the way of other great places.  Gone will be those great Sunday brunch's, weddings, dinner parties, fabulous views of the park, glittering and glitzy fun days are gone.  Another Great place is now in the history books. Why did this happen?  How could this happen ? Who is responsible for letting this happen ? Sure there have been changes in ownership, and fights with the city about leases etc., but that is not why.  The WHY is simple................The f**ken unions......Yup once again the worthless pieces of shit that control the restaurant business in NY has struck.
     In 1960, approximately 1/3 rd of all workers were union.  In 1983  there were aprx. 17 million union workers. In 2009 there were aprx. 15 million. {Dept of Labor Union Info.)  I only hope that by 2011 it is down to 4,582 members worldwide who are only labor leaders with no one to lead.

    So here is the latest facts that caused Tavern on the Green not to reopen. These are really the union issues and I had nothing to do with this.  Waiters, not management ,determine how many servers are needed on shifts........Busboys can't do any other work like unloading produce from a delivery truck.......Who would e responsible if the workers' pensions were underfunded.......How  an arbiter would be selected to settle disputes.....these are just some of the union demands that were a dealbreaker.  Whatever happened to the days where small business owners ran their own business ??????  The government and now the unions.... How will this country ever grow and be economically sound when business's cease being allowed to be a business.???  So to the other 20,000 restaurants in NY I give this advice.  Stock up on baseball bats and teach your workers how to use them.