F**king Traveling

Bullshit Airports

I have just returned from a great week in California where I was visiting my family.  That was wonderful, with the exception of the traveling to and from California.  Now I know that I am not unique when it comes to this sort of travel.  I am also positive that many of you can relate to the wonderful fucking bullshit we must all contend with for the pleasure of flying.

         Finally getting on a plane is probably the easiest part of any trip.  Let me give you the gory details about my trip from Palm Beach International to Los Angeles last week.  First of all I am up at 5am to get ready for a 7.20 departure.  This is a pretty close and easy airport, but lets face it.......nothing is easy. Before 6am, I am in my car for the 25 minute drive to the airport.  I arrive there and park in the Long Term (Economy) parking.  I wait a few minutes for the bus and pretty soon the bus is at the airport and I have checked in.  I now wait impatiently for the boarding announcement. Alas...here comes the announcement with a little extra thrown in. "Ladies and Gentlemen, due to a completely sold out flight, we ask that you check any large baggage here at the gate because there will not be room on the aircraft for it." It doesn't bother me, because I am smart enough to only travel with one bag and check the fucking thing.  I am now sitting in my seat on the aircraft and waiting for this completely sold out flight to leave. (Oh yes...it's sold out because they no longer have the other 2 flights they always had and thus the consolidation).  Well, we arrive in Dallas on time, (have to do the Dallas shuffle because there are no non stop flights from PBI to LAX.  OK, now to exit the plane and wait another hour and a half for my connection.  Well, that is no problem because the connecting gate is about 43 miles away if you know Dallas.
     It is now almost 2 hours later and I have boarded my next segment going to LA. No problems and we land at LAX almost on time.. A small hour wait to finally get my one piece of luggage, a small wait for the bus to take me to the rental car company, and only a small wait to get the car and a longer wait to check it out by the main gate.  A little drive to the hotel and can you believe it.......I have arrived.......
      The rest of my trip and some fun things will have to wait.....

Vacation is over and its back to WPB.  Now I leave my family in my rented car, drive to the car rental place which these days is nowhere near the fucking airport.  It's Saturday, so not so bad. Take the car rental bus to the airport, check my bag outside and proceed to the security area.  That is usually always fun for me ?????  I go thru the machine and off goes the alarm.  Now it's off to be searched and patted down.

I didn't have sex for the time I was gone, so I knew this was going to be an experience.  I was right.  Had the same guy that violated me on my last trip take me to the side. I am convinced this TSA degenerate had been waiting for me for several months.  He greeted me like I was his best bud, and immediately began touching me all over. By all over I mean beneath my belt and on top of my thighs.  After both of us reaching a mutual orgasm, he decided that I was fit to fly........Yippee.
So now I walk to the gate, and fortunately there is an Admirals Club there where I can hang until the flight departs. No real incidents to report on the flight with the exception of this pain in the ass woman sitting in the middle seat next to me constantly going to the overhead bins to put in and take out shit......

It wasn't too bad until she decided to go to the bathroom. Naturally she waiting until I was sound asleep so that she needed to wake me...I fixed that bitch when we landed.  She only wanted to get off the plane so fast, but I wouldn't get up until everyone in front of me was on the way out. I am sure she is still cursing me.
      No problem at all and before I know it we have arrived back in Dallas/Fort Worth where I will change planes once again and wait for two hours once again.  I take the train to the other terminal for my next segment and head right for the Admirals Club that is there. Thank God for that.

Here we go again. Same speech about the luggage, and same completely full flight heading for PBI. So I am sitting in the completely full aircraft and waiting and am sure the AC will go on in a second. Well it doesn't, and that was because only the pilots have the authority to put it on.  Oh wait.....there is no pilot or co-pilot...No one knows where they are and we just sit there. You would think if they were out partying that the least they could do would be to show up on time....Well, one excuse after another and about one hour later they arrive and the air does go on. Also some bullshit story about traffic or something like that.
       The rest of the trip was fairly uneventful...Ordered a $10 sandwich on board which was worth maybe $1.50.. Gotta love airline food these days.  Land in PBI, get bag, bus to car, car to home, and that is it.   Only 16 hours (minus the time change)  total travel time from LA to Palm Beach.
       Vacations are Great.........Traveling to Vacations S U C K.