Lets talk a little about flight attendants. We have all flown at some point probably within the past year and I am sure like me, you have some wonderful stories to tell about these wonderful "Stews" or Flight Attendants as they are called.
For some unknown reason, whenever I fly of late, I seem to only get the geriatric attendants who need to be retired or the gay stewards who have an attitude worse than the old broads who seem to do everything possible to fit through the aisle and make every effort to never look at you or hear anything you say.
This group of strange airline people seem to have one thing in common. They will never help you stuff your luggage in the bins, but would rather watch and tell you they have a bad back or point to an empty bin. (Now I am not criticizing all of them, but lets just say lots). I realize the unions have plenty to do with seniority and that accounts for most of the problems. Some of these ancient employees have more mileage logged then the planes they are in. Actually I probably cannot blame them for their actions, because flying really sucks these days, and the passengers do nothing to make it easier for them. With these dumb ass charges for checked baggage, most people carry on more shit each and every time. This in itself is a big problem...Actually, I love to watch people jam their luggage in those overhead bins. That is the most entertaining part of the trip, especially for the last passengers to arrive when space is practically full.
And do you really feel safe with some of these older attendants who can barely walk in those high dress shoes they wear ? (Only Southwest Airlines has the brains to have their attendants wear sneakers ). What would you rather they wear during an emergency ?
But lets discuss what is really important. We (yes, I am speaking for the guys), are cramped in those stupid seats for a few hours at a time. There is nothing to do except listen to the roar of the jets, the crying kids nearby, the loud people sitting near you blabbering away, smelling the disgusting food the lady near you brought on the plane, and listening to the guy behind you cough every 34 seconds.
It's time to change everything. Put some great looking flight attendants on board, dress them in a way you are imagining right now, make sure there is good alcohol on board, and fuck it......If we crash, we crash.....But at least we will be smiling.
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