What gives with these fucking TSA security people ? What is their problem ? Why do they insist on rubbing my balls and ass all the time ? What would happen if I was a good looking lady ??? Why am I asking all these questions ????
I just got home from a trip to Los Angeles. The trip was wonderful in every single way, with the little exception of going through security at the airport....Los Angeles is the very worst airport in the world to pass through....I am convinced the security personnel are all sex starved men, that moonlight as pedifile's in the evening, and probably stuff that is even worse....Let me explain....
I always get buzzed when I go through those stupid outdated walk through screening devices. The nice little fat lady or grumpy little man with glasses will then ask me to make sure everything is out of my pockets and to then walk thru it again... I have a bionic hip, so I know the drill.. I give them this information beforehand, but it goes out the hole in the head of the inspector....OK, so now I have gone through a second time and they are possibly getting the hint to call over someone else...It is then one hears those wonderful words......"Male Pat Down".....please.......... so now I am standing there with my shoes off, my belt off, my smart phone and carry on still in that disgusting dirty bin by the conveyor, and wait like an idiot until some other idiot decides to come over to assist me........
Yeah......finally some sweet little gay security person has come over and asks me to follow him to the side.......I usually have a good sense of humor, and have realized how to deal with this by now.....He asks me which bin is mine in the hopes of protecting my carry on.......Now we are off to the side and he carefully puts on his rubber gloves....I panic for a second, but then realize that I just had my proctoscope exam and I am not getting another one here..... He starts off very slowly and tells me this will only take a few seconds...The back and legs are not a problem, but then his hands go higher on my thighs and much slower. I don't know if he is getting off, or what he is thinking, but then I look down to him and tell him that I really like this part....That is when he sort of rushes and has no idea if I am kidding or what ?????? All I know is the whole thing is a big joke....There are great machines used all over Europe that does away with this bull shit pat down.
But I guess we all have to get off, when we get the chance. And with that, I will get off......And BTW, I was only a little bit exited during my pat down.
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