What a wonderful evening I had last night ? I was lucky enough to have dinner with my ex-wife. One would say why ???????? Actually, that was me who said that. Why would I do that ? Why would I subject myself to such abuse ? Why would I even be around her ? Why would I even talk to her ? Why should I even remember her name ? There are so many Why, Why, Why questions that even I do not have an answer. We have been divorced for over 10 years now after a really not pretty divorce, that followed a not pretty marriage, that followed a son ??????? There lies the LCD and only reason to have contact. When we first went out it was exciting, she was hot, and I was a party animal. Everyone said it was wrong, but why would I listen. Then we had a son right away. I guess that kept the marriage together for as long as it did. That turned out to be a mistake also. I am really good at making mistakes.
This is a recent picture of her with her sisters. She is the one with the pretty blue eyes. OK, anyway back to the story about last night. My (our) son is in rehab and there was a meeting last night. We have to participate in 2 meetings and then a session with the director, prior to getting permission to visit him, which cannot be done for the first 30 days anyway. So we went to this meeting and were amazed at how many other parents were there with sons and daughters in rehab. I also learned how easy it is to get drugs and thus get addicted to them. How sad. So after a boring hour and a half, we left and I was driving her home. (she has no car and has fallen on difficult times). I felt bad, and when she asked if I was hungary, I said sure, lets grab a bite.
Sitting in a restaurant and looking at someone that you probably loved at one time, and wanted to be with at one time, and couldn't take your eyes off at one time, and was able to talk to and joke with at one time.........................was really fucken hard. For the first time in my life I was at a loss for words. I had nothing to say except for stuff about our son. It was terrible. It felt like dinner was never going to end and time was at a stand still. How can that happen ? How can you spend so much time with a person, know all about them, sleep, play, and make love to them ?????? And then.....................wow................nothing in common, no desire to sleep, play or make love to them ? How in the world is that possible ?????? How can that switch inside of us complete reverse itself ???? I don't know about how, or why, but I can tell you...................................Actually, you can probably tell me.
If hate was once love, then I never want to love again.
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