Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Bye Bye Forever

Goodbye Circus

Wave goodbye. Say goodbye. Remember the past. Think of all the good memories. Close your eyes and just do a little back peddling.  OK, just pretend you have short term memory loss and only remember the good old days ! Yup, they are going,        goingand soon will all be gone.  You are completely fucked if you start thinking or remembering the Good Old Days.
Were you ever a kid ?  Of course that is a stupid question.  Did you ever go to the circus ?  Of course that is another stupid question. Do you miss seeing the Elephants ? Of course you do.  If your a New Yorker, or ever visited New York, you obviously saw or rode in a horse and buggy around Central Park.. Well, hopefully you will get to see that one day, unless of course those stupid fucking environmentalists that are claiming cruelty to horses and want to end that as well.  Fuck all this crap already.  Lets keep some of the good old days. How much of this can we take????
   
We miss you
Try to get a decent pastrami sandwich in NY anymore.  Even the famed Carnegie Deli is gone.  I better finish this faster before something else I love is gone.

     

Try to go shopping in some of those wonderful department stores we grew up with. I dare you to go to Marshall Fields, Or Filenes basement, and some of the other Giants who are now gone.
    

How about buying a good book, or some tapes, or VCR's, or Cd's or something else like this ?  Go lounge around Tower Records, or walk into Borders ?   Oh wait.....they are gone as well.
       
So lets just go to some of the great sports stores. Herman's, Sports Authority and so on......It just doesn't end.
Howard Johnson's hotels and restaurants are familiar to all of us baby boomers.  Who didn't look forward to stopping there for some food ?  What about the Catskill mountains in upstate New York ?  100 % of the hundreds of hotels and bungalow colonies are completely gone. Aww....gotta watch "Dirty Dancing" again.
     



Hello Dolly
Things go, vanish, disappear, leave, and never ever will return.  BUT.....Thank Goodness for Strip Clubs. They come, they go, they come back, and they stay.  Guess we finally caught a break.

 

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Bookmarks (orig posted 7/24/2012)

I remember growing up and seeing bookmarks everywhere.  They were even in books while they were being read. They had bookmarks for everything. Every sport, every movie, every hobby, every food, in fact there probably was a bookmark for your bookmarks...... People used to read real live books back in the day.  There were hard covered books and these newer ones that were paperback.  There weren't lots of bookstores, but there was this thing called a library all over the place.
I especially remember all those Christmas related bookmarks that were sold everywhere Christmas cards were sold.  Twas the days of books and bookmarks.
Funny how things have changed...  There are still bookmarks, but now they are on our computers, smart phones, kindles, readers, and almost every mobile device made today.  Gone are the days of books, as well as the soon to be passing of Book Stores.  After all, more and more of us are reading what we want on our mobile device. No need to ever go to a bookstore, or the library for that matter.  Fuck, everything we need to read or want to find out about is at our fingertips 24/7 without ever going out.
     The nice thing about all of this is that we no longer have to buy bookmarks.  Think of the money we are saving ? In fact, think of the money we are really saving on books , newspapers, and magazines by reading and subscribing to them online ?   In fact how many bookstores in your neighborhood have you seen closed recently ?
But I have a bitch about bookmarks today.  If your like me, you have lots of bookmarks on your computer.  They are wonderful when you want to find a certain web site or program really quick. But are they ?     I keep my in alphabetical order.  Actually, I keep mine in alphabetical order only when some of these sites let me.
Here is the problem with some of these asshole companies, and I have to admit they are definitely in the minority.  Amazon, Bank of America, Google, Picasa, Pandora, and companies like that are wonderful and make it real easy to bookmark their sites. They even have their little logo next to it that makes it even a little more familiar.
        BUT......then comes the stupid fucking companies that like to make it difficult for us. These are the companies that decide to put something in front of their name for the sole purpose of fucking up the wonderful alphabetical order that once made it fairly easy to find something when you have about 400 or 50 bookmarks...I am talking about the Comcast's of the world that insist on saving their name as "Home, Comcast", or people like Pay Pal who like the "My Account -Pay Pal, and those like Yahoo who insist on the "My Yahoo"......   Why do these companies insist on fucking up my life and making it so difficult to search for a simple bookmark ?
You would think I was asking for something really difficult....So please Mr. Company that I might want to bookmark.......please just put your name there when I save your page....I really don't give a shit if its mine, my, your, home, at , or whatever.......just the facts sir.   Thank you.
       
      
     
         Custom Holiday Gifts 3
     

Saturday, January 7, 2017

New Social Media

I have come up with a revolutionary idea that is going to make me millions, in fact probably billions.  It's simple and almost everyone will be able to participate and join for "Free".
     It's a new social media.  It's something that is going to make Facebook appear to be old stuff.  It's a brand new mindset where people will be nice to each other. Yes, you heard me, something that is going to make us smile. Something that is not going to piss us off, reading and watching our asshole friends post asshole crap.  It's going to be Putz Free.
    
                                                                                            


                                                                                                                                                                                    It will not include bullshit political hate about any high ranking official, until such time as there is sufficient proof to discredit them.  It will ban speculation on matters that are falsely reported by main street press or dumb ass bloggers.
It will be sanitized. sort of like filled with truth serum .                                                                        

It will not include "amen" and whatever goes along with that.  It will certainly omit depression, panic , grief, racism, shame etc.
   

It will definitely omit a like and share button as well as a cut and paste one.  In fact, who the fuck came up with that anyway ?
      


Now for the really good part.  It will include Sex, Sex, and more Sex.  It will focus on sex in every single way, every single color, every single position, every single story, every single question, every everything !!!!   
    

I guess now I really have your attention.  Okay, so I really screwed you around by falsely telling you how to make money.
But seriously, wouldn't you rather have a better sex life, have some fun and laugh a little ? Or would you rather focus in and read about bull shit Political hate that probably disgusts you as much as it does me ?   Your Choice.



Tuesday, January 3, 2017

Where did this come from ?

 Now that 2017 is here, can someone please answer some of these age old questions ?

I still haven't found out who let the dogs out or where the beef is...I still don't know how to get to Sesame Street, and in this age of technology, why doesn't Dora just use Google Maps?
Why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same, or just how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?  Why are eggs and light bulbs packaged in a flimsy containers, but batteries are secured in plastic that's tough as nails?
Ever buy scissors? You need scissors to cut into the packaging of scissors!  I still don't understand why there is Braille on drive up ATM's or why "abbreviated" is such a long word.  Why is there a "D" in "fridge" but not in "refrigerator"....Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?  And why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"...where's that extra penny going to anyway?  Why does the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune, and why did you just try to sing those two previous songs?  And just what is Victoria's secret. And what would you do for a Klondike bar when you know as soon as you bite into it it's gonna fall apart?  Does she or doesn't she what?  Why do you care if I got milk?
And do you really think I am this witty?!?!  I actually got this from a friend, who stole it from her brother's girlfriend's uncle's cousin's baby momma's doctor who lived next door to an old classmate's mail man!

Now it is your turn to take it from me...Peace!!  And ask yourself this:
If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them ?    If all the world is a stage....where does
the audience sit ?  Are the good things that come from people who wait, merely the leftovers of people that went before them ?  If I save time, where does it go ?