I Get Pissed off======When ...........

 

.....I see some asshole commercial on TV they gives me the second one free just for ordering now.....But, I have to pay a separate shipping and handling charge. Wow, isn't that nice of those jerks?
   

,,,,,An easy solution for you idiots inside my TV....When your shipping department finally decides to ship my order, simply have them shove 2 of whatever I bought into the same box.  No need for additional handling, no need for additional shipping charges. Just do it.
     

BTW.....I would never, ever buy anything advertised on TV, so problem solved.
       

.....I see some asshole talking or texting in the movie, or at a restaurant.  In the movie, the light is clearly a nuisance and so uncalled for. Shut your fucking phone off.
      

.....I  see some asshole talking on his or her phone in a restaurant sitting next to me.  Who the fuck really cares what you did last night, or where you are going later....Shut Up. Pay attention to the people you are with.
      

.....I am forced to submit my email address to read or get some simple little thing on line. First I get teased and then I am told if I simply enter my address, I will receive lots of free coupons, news letters and some other junk that I am sure I could very easily live without.
      

.....I comply with the request...........until a week later I get barraged with bullshit emails about anything and everything that I have no fucking interest in.  It's at that point when I usually unsubscribe to it and am told to please allow several weeks to be taken off their email list...WTF...isn't this 2013 and isn't everything done instantly and electronically ?
        

.....I read about Jodi Arias wanting to sell T-shirts from jail and recycle trash.  This was her plea to jurors in a pathetic bid to escape the death penalty for murder.  The money from the sale of the T-shirts will aid in domestic abuse victims..
    

.....We have a choice of what color to purchase as well....Just kill the bitch and stop wasting my time.

Make a comment about some of the CRaP that gets you pissed off..........

Here are this week's Boobs

 "What, me worry".  OMG Juice, what have you been eating ?  OJ claims to be on a bean diet and is not heavy, but solid as a rock.....Not quite sure what kind of rock that is. He also said, "I don't like this vibe, I feel like I'm back on "Roots".
    

I guess that after you have gotten away with killing 2 people you are entitled to speak your mind and say whatever you want....Oh wait...This is for another crime....Silly me.
         

Speaking of sports....Take Mike Goodson, the newly acquired running back of the NY Jets.  He is only making 6.9 million, but wait.....He was just arrested for possession of weed and a handgun..Give me a break sports fans....And he hasn't played one game yet ????
     

But I can find good in everyone and everything...(Right?)  Good Old Papa Johns and their wonderful delivery system. Oh wait.  Seems like one of the delivery people was using that as a front for delivering cocaine. I guess the uniform and Papa Johns logo on the car was a cool way to deliver a kilo of Coke............
       

Of course there is a wonderful story about Rhett, a New York borzoi dog owned by some doctor. The doctor is renting out the pup to finance pet-site surgery. You can rent Rhett out for a mere $1.00 per minute with a 30 minute min.  All you need is a credit card and a drivers license.
     

Usually Rhett is rented for no more than 2 hours, but it's possible for an entire weekend. He gets lots of attention and my feeling it that it is one big, wonderful, great, unusual, terrific, bold pick-up tool....How terrible to promote it like that......Why the fuck didn't I think of it ?
  Here is something completely out of the blue.....63% of the people surveyed would rather sit next to a crying baby than a smell adult.....Now you know.

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Epic Boobs are Coming

Maybe not in this order, but definitely high on my list....Stay Tuned.....and....

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Frigging Diet

I finally realized that I needed  to lose some weight.  None of my clothes looked nice on me and everything was so fucking tight that I was getting exhausted holding my breath all day long.  I looked in the mirror and realized that if I couldn't stand my body, what female in her right mind would want any part of it as well. In fact, I might never get laid again.
     

But that was 11 days ago and for these first hard, difficult, exhausting, frustrating days I have managed to survive.  I completely feel sorry for anyone that is or has been around me.  I have been one self centered bitch doing nothing but talking about weight loss.. So I have lost 12 pounds in just as many days and feel somewhat good about it. I still feel bad for those who have been around me.
      

The problem is that I want to lose another 20 plus pounds and know that it will be impossible to continue this loss, but I intend to try like crazy.  I am, however, making everyone around me crazy by not eating anything not on my diet.
     

It's really a simple diet.  All you have to do is forget about almost every fucking thing you loved to eat and not eat it. See.....it's really simple.....right........Anyway, I am on the South Beach Diet which is really nothing more than eliminating most or all carbs....Simple right.......No.
        

I am sure there are many of you that want to lose weight, but can't get by the first couple of days.  Let me tell you that it is simple.. OK, let me tell you the truth....It sucks........But....if you can make it through the first few days, you are home free.
       

The first few days were a complete and total disaster.  I was ready to kill myself and everyone around me.............But...........it can be done.  So what if I have nice signs all over my kitchen telling me not to eat and with a daily chart of my weight loss....I am only writing this tonight and telling all of my wonderful readers of crapusa.com this because I want to make you as fucking miserable as I have been since the inception...I have not had one drop of alcohol.  (I have just lied to all of you), I have not had my morning bagel. I have not had any bread, pasta, cake, candy, junk food.......etc.
      

But I do know there is a light at the end of the tunnel...Wait a minute ????  Isn't that what you see before you die ????????  My motivation is below.....please wish me luck.

I guess I better go to sleep and dream. After all I have to get up early to go to the god damn gym to help with this.


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Are You One ?

I think I have finally discovered something worse than terrorist's. I think they are even worse than our crooked politicians. I also think their crimes should be severely punished, although they get away with it right now without even a warning.  I would love to propose a punishment of one year in prison for each offense. Maybe even stronger.
       

Naturally I am talking about those fucking inconsiderate and dumb drivers that refuse to use their directional signals.  Why is it such a difficult thing for some of these assholes to do ?

It only takes a fraction of a second to do this little feat, and yet, so many drivers refuse.  There is also a segment of the drivers that love to put on their directional signals almost the same time they are actually making a turn.  Shit, that is probably worse.
    

There must be a reason they come equipped on every single auto.  Therefore, there must be a reason why they should be used ?  How many of us wait patiently in our car waiting to make a turn onto an intersection and see another car coming down the road, thus making us wait because we don't know if they are going straight or turning ?  There are so many ways that make this annoying and dangerous.
     

I am positive that I am not the only person that sometimes wants to chase a car that is in front of me and does not use their Turn Signals. I want to catch them and wreck their car. I sometimes want to kill these motherfuckers. Your following them and the last second they decide to make a right turn......Scream, Scream, Scream........
        So I am making a simple request to all you assholes that choose to ignore your turn signals.
Use Them.

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What, Me Worry ?

What a day this has been. I probably should not have read the newspaper in the morning, looked at twitter, watched any news on TV, or checked my Facebook account.  We are just fucked today ? Actually, maybe it's not just today.
     

Jodi Arias finally found guilty.  Wow, that took enough time and wasted enough of our taxpayers money.  I guess I am just thankful that I wasn't that crazy Bitch's bf..... Well, Casey Anthony got off and Jodi Arias didn't.  Guess things have a way of evening out.

       

The Benghazi hearing continue and who can you trust or even believe to be telling the truth.  Politics sucks and I think we will never know the truth. Somehow, however, I feel like some of these asshole politicians are just as guilty as Jodi Arias.
         

And after ten years in Ohio, the three girls held captive escaped.  How tragic and how sad. I am sure it will be worse once everything comes out.  But even in tragedy there is always something funny.  That funny is Charles Ramsey who first saw Amanda Berry.  His comment of knowing something was wrong when a little white girls runs out and hugs a black man is just a riot.  Anyway, good for you Charlie.....Your a breath of fresh air.

And to think there was not enough bad and shit news around today, I got stuck twice by a stupid drawbridge.  I guess somewhere, somehow, you must put things in the proper prospective.

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Are We All Nuts ?

 Maybe, just maybe she is normal and everyone else connected to the media along with those reading or watching what the media says and does.....are the really crazy ones ? I cannot understand why any normal news person would even waste their time following this asshole around, much less taking pictures and trying to savior each and every word she says.  Who gives a shit that she is in court, stealing, drunk, partying, stealing, wrecking cars, to name just a few. I read the NY Post (on-line of course) this morning and naturally her picture and story was on page 3...Wow, that is really newsworthy ?????
    

It's almost as bad as the trademark and legal action going on between Costco and Tiffany. Costco is selling Tiffany type engagement rings and Tiffany is suing them to stop using the Tiffany name. Costco claims the name "Tiffany" in a diamond setting is simply a generic term.  I personally disagree with them, but, and once again I use the word But........What asshole in their right mind is going to think they are buying a Tiffany Ring in Costco ?????   I guess the words Warehouse Store don't matter anymore.

So Mr. Asshole buying your girl an engagement ring at Costco, here is a little advice.  Don't put the ring under the 24 case of peanut butter in your cart.....
       

http://landing.newsinc.com/shared/video.html?freewheel=90051&sitesection=nydailynews&VID=24777839
    But every now and then comes something good.  I personally love Chelsea Handler. I think she is a complete riot. Well, Gwyneth Paltrow  was on the other night, giving relationship advice. She believes that when in an argument with you husband, you should always do the opposite. She further added that when your really angry you should simply give him a "Blow Job".  Way to go Gwyneth.  Now I really like you as well.....Click on the link above to see the video....It's worth it.
    

Which disturbs me.  Are blowjobs counted in the weekly jobless claims ?