Thursday, September 8, 2016

Biggest Boob of the Week

Tonight I will break tradition. I have always started my blog with a picture. Usually something about the subject and usually something that will get you in the mood for the shit you are about to read. Tonight I am going to do something completely different.  I am simply going to ask a question that you think would have a simple answer, especially for all you red blooded World Wide Men that read CRaPUSA.............
        Below are four simple pictures. My easy question to each and everyone of you is this ?????  Who would you vote for in the American Boob of the Week Contest ??????   Would it be picture #1,2,3, or 4 ?  I will give you my answer after I am sure you have picked yours...NOW remember......No Fucking Cheating....

    Now that you have something to focus on, I will tell you my sad tale of woe and why I cast my vote for Comcast as the biggest boob of the week.
    Yesterday morning I called comcast (my cable company provider) because I did not get one channel on my TV in the kitchen where I was having breakfast. I usually watch Imus in the Morning during my morning coffee for a bit.  I tried everything else and naturally everything was working fine. I reset the cable box and still no success. So, I did what any red blooded person would do. I called the cable company who seems to always advertise as to how wonderful their service and customer agents are.. Naturally it takes forever to finally get to speak to a live tech ?    Not quite sure why they are called "Techs" ?????  Well, in his dull, dreary voice, he reads to me from his scripted manuscript how sorry to hear of my problem...First of all dickhead, it's your problem because it's all your equipment.  OK, so he tells me to do everything I have already done and blah blah blah....Finally he tells me that he can get a service tech (again with the fucking tech) out to me sometime today. (which was yesterday), but didn't know when.  I simply asked him if they could call my cell an hour before to give me a heads up and that I would make sure I was there....Naturally he said Of Course we will.....That was good, because it was 8 AM, and I was not staying in the house all day to wait for some jerk............I felt good about that........But then........Lights went off in my head.  I know Comcast has been upgrading more of their stations to HD, so I began a hunt for the same station in HD....Guess What ???????  I found it somewhere else....You would think some idiot at Comcast would have told me to try the new station ?????   Anyway it was there, worked perfect, and I was happy that Imus was now in HD.........I still wanted them to check out the station I wasn't getting because..........who knows..........Bottom 6PM, when I got home, my doorman advised me that I had just missed the Comcast tech, who did show up........But no phone call you asshole, and no follow up by Comcast.......So for this Mr. Comcast man I give you my Boob of the Week Award......Wear it well on one of your channels that do work and of course hopefully in HD.
       (This was originally posted on March 20,2012.  It's amazing how certain things seem to never
         change ????? blogs are coming...The shock treatment has done wonders for my
        brain. )

Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Strip Clubs and More

Yuk...Yuk....Uk.......What is the problem with Strip Clubs ? Strip Clubs are great and attract a wonderful class of people. OK, maybe not always....but.......they are great.
How does this differ from Wrestle mania ? What is worse ?  Crooked Politicians ?  Rapist ? Child Offenders ? Thieves ? Murders ?  Gun Violence ? Illegal Immigration ? Drug Abuse ? Terrible Storms ?     Oh wait....I was simply going through some of the headlines in today's local newspaper.

Live and let live.....Oh, how is this any different than the newest trend in trendy Wall Street in NY ? And that being Sexy shoe babes cleaning your shoes or boots.  For a few extra bucks you can get your leather polished at a Financial District shop staffed by hot female workers clad in skimpy shorts and tank tops. I don't understand why they haven't done this at Strip Clubs already ? It certainly make sense and probably will be as popular as a lap dance.
It's only $7.00 per shine plus tip, of course.  Shit....A good strip club costs less... I am not sure what the point of all this is, but surely I must be going somewhere with this.
Aughh.........Charlie Brown....actually Peanuts voice actor pleaded guilty to stalking and threatening to kill two women...He might get three years in prison.....WTF......Are all voice characters this fucked up, or is this just the beginning of bigger things to come ?  He should have simply gone to a strip club to chill out.

And finally a thing for all you wonderful women reading CRaPUSA. Women who wear bras will have saggier boobs than those who don't, says new research.....Wow....What a great thing for Women and especially for us guys.........God Bless America....  Oh shit....This was a French Scientist who did this research for the past 15 years.. I wonder how much information he got from strip clubs ?
     I'm done.
          (and what is worse, is the fact I wrote this in April of 2013)

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Amen Brother

 If one more person tells me to type "Amen" after some stupid fucking thing they just posted on Facebook, I am going to scream ! What gives with some people needing and wanting to see that word "Amen" ?
It won't do a damn thing. It won't solve anything. It won't make anything look or feel better. It won't be read by anyone but yourself.  In other words, what is the fucking point of it all ?  All it does is piss me off and give me a reason to tell the whole world how fucking stupid you really are .
Oh wait a second. There is also those of you who insist on telling me to copy and paste this on my status.  Well, fuck you also.  It's my status and if I wanted to put something on it, I would have done it without going through the hassle of cutting and pasting some stupid damn thing that you happen to have seen, thought of, or been dumb enough to copy and paste on your status.
Rather than spending the time to tell all your friends to cut and paste some stupid thing, I suggest you take the time to see some shrink and discuss this with him or her.
Stick your finger up your ...
Oh, and prey tell, what have we here now ?  Right, the old put your finger on this, or press here, or touch this for 20 minutes and see what happens.   Notice the colors turning blurry, or shock waves running through your body, or lightening starting to happen outside or having a sudden urge to vomit !  Nothing is going to happen.

Mark Zuckenberg, Bill Gates, or Harry Truman is not going to magically appear.  Please don't ask me to type anything because it's only going to make me realize what a stupid fucking idiot you really are ........Well, not really because I already knew that.
And really !!!! Do I want to see you naked ????????  OK, I am really screaming now and you are really lucky that you can't hear me.
And your stupid cards that you post with stupid sayings ?  Stick them up your ass and see what happens.  I don't care that your serious and want to save the children, animals , elderly, environment, all health issues, problems everywhere, etc. etc.

I don't want to save anything. I want the world all fucked up. That is how it's supposed to be.  If God wanted to save the world, he would have done it already. Besides, if you save one thing, there will be two others that will pop up, so do yourself a favor and let things just be.
This says it all....Plain and Simple.



Monday, May 23, 2016

Bye Bye Chelsea Handler

Goodbye Chelsea, it's been lots of fun.  We spent a few years together laughing, having a good time, listening to your stories, your funny bits, your craziness, and so on, while I was simply lying around waiting to go to sleep. You then ended your late night show on E, and I was able to go to sleep a little earlier.
Alas, and fast forward almost a year and you have come back to me looking and acting a little different. You are now on Netflix and have a completely new type of late night show that really sucks.  But it just doesn't suck.  It sucks big time. It's not funny, your guests are boring and quite frankly I don't give a shit about your dog walking around the stage and smelling every one's balls who comes near you. But then again, that is just me.
I can tolerate your huge tits and your willingness to show them all over the place. Although I don't quite understand why, I give you credit for that.  Not many 40 year old's care to expose themselves to that degree.  I do however, have a problem with your political views.  While it's not so much your own political views, it's more of the fact that I don't understand what makes you so supreme to expect your audience to listen to your political shit on a nightly basis ?  Your not a news show,  your certainly not a political show, your an entertainment show.

Therefore Chelsea Handler, I would like to know who and what gives you the right to want to eat, sleep and fuck Hillary Clinton on a daily basis, and constantly poke fun at Donald Trump ? Sure, political humor is funny when it is political humor and meant to entertain us.. But when you simply choose to endorse Hillary and bash Trump solely because that is what you feel...........well.......that sucks.   It's not funny.  It's not entertaining... It's not anything I want to see on a nightly basis. Bottom line is that no one cares about your views and how upset you get. It's just not your job to tell everyone who to vote for. Its your job to entertain us. (At least that is the reason I have been watching you in the past)
So, Until you change your show to a political or news program, I am going to assume this nonsense is your way of trying to be funny.  In either case it sucks and my message to you is go fuck yourself. Or, if you decide that you want to be entertaining once again ?????? well maybe I might begin to watch you again.  (although I really doubt it) .