Squeeze This

We can put a man on the moon. We can have a black president. We can do anything we want on a computer. We are a totally mobile nation. We can root for whatever team we want in any sport we want. We have the ability to travel anywhere in this world. We are living much longer.  We are smarter as a nation. We are lucky enough to have the likes of Honey Boo Boo and Lindsey Lohan. In other words.....we are pretty lucky in everything and have the ability to do almost everything.
     

Except of course to get the last bit of mustard, ketchup, mayo, or anything in a soft plastic container. WTF gives with that ?  Those fucking squeeze containers should be banned. At least from me getting hold of them.  It is like an impossible task to do this.

     

I have to admit that I am not very handy.  The slightest caulking job causes me as much grief as trying to put some mustard on a sandwich.  Of course the simple solution would be for me never to buy anything that comes in a squeeze container.
     

I am convinced, however, that I am not the only one plagued by this necessary task of squeezing.  We as a world are all doing some sort of squeezing, although right now you are probably thinking how fucking stupid I am for bringing this up.
   

Tell me you haven't squeezed a lemon or a lime lately for a drink ?
   

Tell me you haven't squeezed into a subway at one time or another ?

     

Tell me you haven't squeezed into some article of clothing at some point ?
       

Now tell me you haven't squeezed or had your breasts squeezed , lately ?
       I rest my case.