One Hour War

Battle Stations.  I made the mistake of going to Costco over this past weekend. I thought I would be in and out in a matter of minutes, as I only needed a few things and really was not doing anything that afternoon.  What a fucken mistake that was. I managed to park immediately and was quite relaxed up until the part that I entered the store and was attacked by shopping carts. What is it with crazy people behind shopping carts?????  Do they feel like they are the only carts on the road and can go in any direction, hit anyone around, and even stand in the way of everyone else as they please????  Well, the answer to this is obviously  YES......

     OK, so the battle has started and I am already on the defensive end, but I am still not defeated. I will simply drive my cart defensively and stay out of the way of all these pre-holiday lunatics.  I make my way to the fresh fruit and vegetable aisle and know that I can do that in a matter of seconds.....But wait......There are some of the enemy standing there and opening the sealed packages to make sure each and every grape or tomato is perfect. They are examining every last piece in the plastic container to make sure it meets with their approval... Again, I remain calm and simply wonder if they could ever pass a cleanliness test like that ????  Of course a few feet to the left in the dairy aisle, I notice the same thing being done with cartons of eggs.

     OK, so now I am beginning to lose my patience..  I count to 10 and go about my merry way trying to remain calm.  These huge warehouse stores are basically all the same, with the exception of different store names they use on their own products.  What they also have in common are tons of little old ladies all over the place giving out sample of food products.  Now that is a treat. Not for me, but to watch the type of people that are standing in front gobbling up the food samples. It almost makes you want to never eat again.

     I feel really bad for these poor woman.  They are sometimes overridden by animals having their lunch or dinner there.  Why ????  I can't imagine them selling enough of that product to warrant having these nice people standing there, heating up the food, putting it on those cute little tiny wrappers and having these animals attack it.........

     The war is on.  The defense is simple......Run....Retreat....Run some more.....I bought what I needed, got on a checkout line, paid my bill, got the stuff in my car, sat there for a minute or two contemplating either screaming or trying to run over some son of a bitch who just left their shopping cart right in the middle of nowhere..............But I calmly drove home, had a glass of wine, relaxed, and planned my offensive strategy for my next visit to a warehouse store.....Bottom line is..............1 for the enemy..........0 for me.........Can't win them all.