Take This Survey

Take this survey by CRaPUSA

No, No, No, I don't want to take another survey. I am sick and fucking tired of getting all these calls and emails for me to take this survey or that survey. In plain English......Take your Survey and shove it up your ass.....Whew.....now I feel a little better.

         I don't know about you, but I am all surveyed out.  It's like you can't do a fucking thing these days without getting an email or a phone call the following day asking you to fill out a "Brief Survey". First of all, there is no such thing as a brief anything.  I love when I am nice enough to fill one out how they trick you.  That stupid percentage bar at the top will be 30% complete in a second or two...........but then..............there is no longer one question on the page, but a bunch and from then on it is forever. And to make it worse, these assholes have to put right next to the question those famous words....."If you are completely satisfied please check the box marked 5. If not satisfied at all please check the box marked 1. I shortened this and left out the 2, 3, and 4... First we do them a favor and then we are treated like idiots.

         I guess I didn't mention who the They was ?  You know who they are because They are very much a part of your lives as they are mine.   For example, how many times have you received a telephone call from the Republican or Democratic Party recently asking you to please take a brief survey to determine who is best suited to be president of the United States ? We all know that answer without any survey ?   Or the following as I just got a few minutes ago.  I had some furniture delivered today and I got that trick call asking me if I was satisfied with the delivery etc.?????  As soon as I said Yes...I was asked if I would mind taking a brief survey about my shopping experience.
       Try getting something done with your local cable company , telephone provider, computer support,  even your fucking dentist....It doesn't stop....Everyone is collecting information. Go to Old Navy , Home Depot, or some other chain, or restaurant and look at your receipt...They will give you 10 % off your next purchase or a chance to win $5,000 if you simply log on and take a brief survey.

       Nobody has ever called me or emailed me asking me to do a survey on my sexual activities or what I thought of that box of condoms, or how I enjoyed that wonderful weed I  bought, or
what comments I can give to improve the quality of the local strip club, or what I think of some of the ridiculous prices of booze at some of the local bars I frequent....These are some of the things I would love to discuss and would gladly fill out a survey for or speak to someone on the phone.

       But that is just not going to happen.  All that you and me are going to get are the stupid questions like.....How clean was the waiting room ?  Were you greeted promptly when you entered the restaurant ?, Did the Hostess come over and talk to you during your meal ?, Would you recommend us to your friends ? , Were you satisfied with your service today at your friendly dentist? Do you come here often ?......and so on.

         Lets face it. If we are not satisfied with anything, with or without your stupid survey, or your stupid phone calls......we are going to do the following.......NOT RETURN.

         Besides, when was the last time someone called you or emailed you giving you the results of the survey you so willingly helped them complete ?????   So Fuck You Mr. Survey Maker.

PS: If you enjoy reading CRaPUSA for whatever reason, please take the attached survey so I will know how to improve it.......Kidding.......Just tell your friends  to check it out.  It is also an easy way to get rid of people you don't like.......