Pay to Pee @ 30.000 feet

     WTF is going on with these airlines today???? It's one thing to have lousy service , late departures, dirty planes,  high fares, ridiculously old female flight attendants, annoying gay flight attendants, long delays, late arrivals, old smelly planes, cramped seats, no legroom, no pillows, no peanuts, and probably a dozen other stupid faults that I can't think of right now.
     The airlines have been charging for the following and I won't even mention names, as the prices are all pretty standard.  Snacks are $3/4.00 each, Checked bags about $25.00, exit seats about $10.00 and up, blankets about $10.00 .  It is also more expensive to purchase a ticket at the airport , rather than on-line.  There are also charges if you don't print your boarding pass in advance.
      The revenue from checked baggage alone is roughly 2 billion dollars for the last 9 months.  That is an amazing figure for something that used to be free.
     Now for the latest bull shit to come from the airlines. Starting Aug 1st., Spirit Airlines (a discount airline but aren't they all? ) will be charging $30.00 for each piece of carry on baggage.  In other words anything that will not fit under your seat will cost you that.............Management claims it will speed the boarding process and thus cut back on costs for the airline so they will be able to charge lower fares.  Don't hold your breath for that.
     I really thought that was the end of this little fairytale.  Nope, Nope, Nope.......Ryanair Airlines ( a real European discount carrier ) has confirmed this week it will start charging $1.35 for using the lavatory.  Is there no limit to air-line gouging?????? If I were on a Ryanair flight I would do one of two things.  Either organize a massive pee-in-the-aisle session, or use the lavatory and clog up the toilet with paper to make sure it completely flooded the stupid little excuse they call a Lavatory.
      I also know what is next for the airlines.  There will be fees charged for the following, although the exact charges have not been decided as yet..............Sitting outside the gate waiting to board , walking down the jetway, talking on your cell phone on the plane, getting out of your seat to stretch your legs, not dressing up to code, asking the flight attendant a question, picking your luggage up from the baggage claim, I can't even think what the cost will be for joining the mile high club????

Huh ???????

Cannot see anything worthwhile to bitch and complain about today. Hopefully there will be something Ridiculous and Pathetic that I can be Cynical about tomorrow. It is so calming not to be pissed at anything. Except of course, some of those ridiculous causes some people have on facebook along with the wonderful political beliefs shared by others. I love the fact that when others rant and rave with their political beliefs, it is OK.  But when friends of theirs don't agree or have other opinions a war starts.  I had a friend recently that asked me why I was pissed all the time about everything ?  I thought that was great, because I am just having fun picking on all sorts of stuff. I certainly don't take politics seriously because that went out of the picture long ago.  Sports figures and entertainers are only that. They are strictly for our entertainment.  Medical industry is going to shit. Wall Street people are by far a bunch of crooks.  Where is the honesty ????? Bring back the Mafia. Now there were honest people where you always knew where you stood.  So take a good look at yourself, and be thankful each and every day when you wake up that you are still here to fight another battle that day.
     I have now officially babbled about nothing, said nothing, but managed to fill up some space for today's Crap.  Hope you had a good one.

Johnny on the Pony.........long ago in the Bronx

     Johnny on the Pony………………..from “Hubba, Hubba, Growing up in the Bronx”…a novel being written by yours truly.
     Johnny on the Pony is the name of a children's game, for older kids. There are two teams, usually of 4 or 5 boys each. The first team is the Pony, the second is Johnny. The Pony team lines up this way: One member stands upright with his back braced against a wall. (Side of a building) then the second player bends down, thrusts his head into the first person's stomach, and grabs him tightly around the waist. The next bends down, placing his head between the legs of player 2 and grabbing him tightly around the thighs. Players 4, 5, repeat what number 3 did. The whole team then braces. The Johnny team . . . races at them, one at a time, and vaults atop the row of backs as far forward as he can, shouting "Johnny on a pony, one, two, three!" The object is to cave in the backs of the Pony team. If the jumping team can do that, the other must brace themselves again for the onslaught. If they hold and support all the members of the other team, then that team becomes the Pony and the jumpers have to bend over." - Now, those are the basic rules, but usually someone would wind up getting hurt. You see, the first team jumping would have to be careful that the person standing with his back against the building does not move during the opposite teams jump. If he did move, there was always the chance that someone’s head would crash against the brick wall of the building. Ouch, Ouch…This game would usually start in the early evening and end when we were exhausted or when someone got injured.. Usually from an injury to the head, or a busted back, but hey…what do 11 and 12 year old boys from the Bronx know? The one thing I did know however was to make sure I was on my friend Bruce’s team. (Bruce was the biggest kid in the neighborhood and probably weighed 230 pounds at 12 years old. I was young then, but certainly not stupid.
     Look at all these great things you are learning about growing up in the Bronx back in the day.

Sex Clinic.........the movie 1971

Instead of rambling on about Tiger, Jesse, The Boss, Elliot, and the countless other "Famous" celebs. that have been caught with their pants down, I thought I would just look at this 1971 movie about sex that actually takes place in a Sex Clinic.  I for one, could care less about who sleeps with who, and who got caught, and who is standing by who, or any of that crap. Lets face it. The only time any of us care is if our spouse , lover, or other gets caught or is suspected by you of cheating...... I can actually speak first hand at this as my last ex-wife was caught red handed by yours truly.  What a surprise that was, especially because I actually trusted her. Oh how stupid of me.  But then again, isn't that what love and marriage are supposed to be???? But if guys cheat..............it is usually OK, because somewhere in that "Guy Book", it is allowed on certain days in certain months.  This is really a touchy subject because I am sure most of you reading this know of, or have had a similar experience either with your wife, girl friend, or know of your best friend that has or had a problem.  The real problem is that none of us really care until the time it  hits home.
       OK, lets get back to Sex Clinic's. Now I am on track for my blog for today and it just about hits everything I like to blog about.  It's Ridiculous, it's Pathetic, and it's probably cynical depending how I talk about it.  In other words.................It is all Crap......... So , to you Tiger and whoever else deems fit to go to a Sex Clinic for doing whatever you did and will continue to do no matter what,............. I say to you.....FU.  Spend a few hours at the gym.......The results will be the same.

Where did all these Friggen people come from ????????????

I live on a small barrier island (Singer Island), which is just a little north of west palm beach and a little south of Jupiter.  Usually it is fairly quiet and there is never any traffic congestion or crowds of people anywhere.  The restaurants are normally not overcrowded, the gym is never too busy, the mall is never mobbed and parking is never a problem.  The pool in my condo is never really busy and the lounge chairs are always available.  The lines in the supermarket are never really too long and life in this basic resort town just seems to go along at it's own pace.  For excitement I need to meet friends either in Palm Beach, Del Ray, Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, or some other place at least 20 miles from here............BUT...........this week is crazy.   Being Spring Break, Passover, Easter, and obviously some other holiday that I know nothing about, all hell has broken out......It seems that every single person in my building and this entire island has company. (except poor me ).  There are kids, grand kids, friends, relatives, and probably some people for rent that are here in Florida.  It is a mess.  The roads are mobbed, the mall is crowded, my pool is overcrowded, the stores are impossible, restaurant lines are huge etc. etc..  It really sucks.
      But for once in my life I really don't have a problem with any of this.  I have learned how to smile, and how to just relax and not let it bother me.  I plan my daily trip to the gym a little different, and know enough people that own or manage restaurants so I don't have to wait. I might yell a little when in the car in a parking lot, or waiting for some dumb draw bridge to finally come down. I manage to find a lounge chair by the pool, and really enjoy looking at the fat, ugly, dumb ass, poorly dressed New Yorkers that are visiting people this week and next.
     And yes, I used to be one of those ugly americans (New Yorkers) that came to florida to visit his parents, and send his kids here as well to visit their grand parents.  But now I am just content and not getting excited.........Xanox and Vodka are certainly wonderful this time of the year in So. Florida.
     So Happy Passover, Happy Easter and enjoy your spring break with whoever you are visiting.

Oh Crap............lazy Thursday

Blog has been canceled today due to brain failure.  Going out for drinks, dinner, and to search for next wife?????  Intend to ask any married friends if they would check into a sex clinic to make amens for cheating on their wives????  Ha ha ha ha ha ha.  That is not a sickness, but a prerequisite for being an active member of the Man's Club. What normal woman would actually believe her husband or stand by him ???? Never Happen...  Back tomorrow.......so tune in